Are Men Hardwired to Hate Women?

I’m part of a soccer team. Not a big-time competitive team or club, just a local meet up of young men who catch up to play a few times a week. You can think of it as an adult version of the little league. So,we are planning this match against each other and we split the group into two.  As usual, the pre-match ‘analysis’ slid down into taunts and threats of how we are going to kick each other’s behinds. 

And then, it happened! I made what I thought was a subtle taunt. “Okay ladies, see you on Saturday at the pitch”, I signed off. Suddenly, the Whatsapp chat room exploded in uproar! The other team members started typing furiously, each of the incoming texts sizzling with rage! “Have you ever seen me in a skirt?” one of the members protested. “Show a little respect man,” cried another.

The stormy chat eventually died down, about 2 hours later. I was not really bothered by their remarks as much as I was stunned by how the men found it almost abhorrent to be referred to as a woman, even metaphorically. I mean, what is it about a woman that is so hideous that we couldn’t  want to be remotely associated? 

Within the disciplined forces, the army, and even sports teams, men are constantly referred to as ‘ladies’ so as to motivate them to work harder and to prove that they are men! It is never used in any misogynistic way, not to my knowledge.


I suppose everyone is busy trying to be a man, even the women. Maybe the ‘woman’, as we know her, will soon become extinct.

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5 thoughts on “Are Men Hardwired to Hate Women?

  1. We are always regarded as ‘nothings’ so their reaction wouldn’t be a surprise..only real men(who have deep respect for women) would find that a joke

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  2. Mh this is a tricky one because the same statement is usually used as a diss or as a way of challenging men but not in a good way.Lol I don’t see it as being motivational,its sort of diss-like so perhaps that explains the reaction of your teammate.Nikama kusema ‘wacha umama’ is a good thing to be told 🙂

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  3. From when we are children, both primary and secondary socialization teaches both men and women that women are the “weaker” sex. Men are taught that they are the “tougher” sex and should remain that way irrespective of the circumstances and their feelings. Therefore, when men are even in a joking manner referred to as women, or are accused/attacked of having women emotions or demeanour, their number one instinct is to defend their manhood. It’s sad. A lot of men are actually quite unaware of the levels of misogyny that they spew in response to this “attack”. The patriarchy is alive. Never doubt.

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